We had a follow up appointment for Michael today for his PDD NOS. Overall, he is doing great! We don't have to go back until December. She wasn't quite ready to go to 6 months, but almost. We talked about how to help Michael with his social skills and the doctor said that we should prep him with stories of what you do at the park, i.e. play with other kids, introduce himself, etc. She also said to go up to kids with him and help him introduce himself. We went to the park after his OT appointment and it wasn't really planned so we didn't start this today, but watching Thomas play with other kids was amazing. He just went up and started playing with them. The funniest part of this is that Thomas was the one I was concerned about with making friends. My concern was that since he is so quiet, he would be lost in the crowd and not make friends easily. I was concerned about Michael since he tended to play by himself, but this was something that we were aware of even before his diagnosis and one of the reasons that we had a feeling that there was something going on.
After the doctor said that me and my husband should help Michael with his social skills by introducing him to other kids, I almost immediately got this feeling of anxiety. I am not the most social person, with lots of fears of talking to people and being assertive about going up and initiating conversation. The funny thing is that I am a social worker by profession. My job requires me to talk to people. The thing is, I much prefer talking one on one with people, not in groups. A lot of me fear surround me being afraid that people will reject me if I attempt to communicate with them. A lot of this fear goes back to being a kid and not being one of the popular kids, actually being one of the kids that used to get made fun of.
The funny this about all this is that I have been trying to write about not having people make comments on things that I post on the web. I get very few comments on my 2 blogs, varying amounts of comments on Facebook, little to nothing on instagram or twitter, and the same on anything else that I may have forgotten. I can't figure out if people aren't commenting because they are too busy, because they don't like what I write, they don't like me, or that they just don't comment. Unfortunately, my mind tells me that it's because people could care less about what I have to say, and that would be because they don't like me. More than likely it's because people just don't have time. At least I hope that it's just because they don't have time. There are a few people who I have thought that I was friends with, but it just doesn't seem like I am really am. I know that part of it is probably my fault since I tend not to do things outside of my family. I just wish I had a better feeling about how people feel about me. At this point in my life, it would certainly help me with my confidence in helping Michael. It would help my confidence if life in general, which will in turn help me with all my kids.
Sorry for the poor me thoughts on this post, but I just needed to get it down. I am hoping that I can get over this little to no comments thing and move on and realize that it is nothing more than people just not having time, not that they don't like me. It will certainly help me to move on and get over it!
Amy
Often times, I know I used to do this, we shy away from talking to people we don't know because we are scared of rejection. Ever been in a conversation you know just is a waste of time. I'm afraid to be a waste of time to someone and won't have anything interesting to say.
ReplyDeleteThe thing you can do for yourself is to start small, start interacting (ie using Twitter as an example) and replying to people. You have to put in just as much as you put out...even more sometimes.
You're right! I need to put myself out there a little more!
DeleteHey Amy!! I HEART you! Sorry I haven't been keeping up with any blogs here lately. You know I would have commented! I am so glad M is making such great progress! Sweet boy! I sometimes wonder if L didn't have a sibling to compare him to if I would notice the Autism vibes as much. I too am socially reserved. I don't put myself out there at all. I am hoping to get better at it, so we too can make play dates with peers. It is hard! Hugs to you lady! Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteAmy, don't beat yourself up! I can't speak for everyone, however life gets crazy busy! Between co-parenting, keeping the kids busy & active, preparing meals, cleaning, laundry, getting ready for the new school year, attending appointments, and working outside the home; there is barely time to breathe sometimes - never mind commenting on a blog. I give you a lot of credit, posting when you can;(certainly it is a way to socialize) so give yourself some credit that you are putting yourself out there despite any insecurities you might have regarding rejection. I like to read blogs in my spare time (which isn't much lately) and of those I read I typically don't comment, unless I (a) have the time and (b) feel that I can offer something helpful!
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