Monday, August 30, 2010
Why is it that making friends is so much harder when you get older? Or is it just me? I still have a few friends from high school and college, but different life changes in each of our lives has made it more difficult to remain close. I have never been one to have many friends. I was always more likely to have a couple of really good close friends, that I could confide everything in. As I got older and our lives started to change, some of these friendships grew apart. Some of these friendships really needed to grow apart and some I really wish hadn't. Now that I have 3 kids, I am finding it even harder to make friends vs aquaintences. I have a number of aquaintences, but no real close new friends. I had hoped that being a part of the twins group, would make this task much easier, but it really hasn't. I think a big part of it is me. I tend to be on the quiet side, even thought there are some people in my life who would disagree. I tend to feel so awkward around new people and hope that they will invite me in to their circle with out me having to do much work (not that I don't want to, it just the fear that I will still be rejected even after I have made a huge effort). Maybe it's just me. Maybe I haven't put enough effort into making friends. Maybe I'm assuming that people don't want to be friends with me, when the truth is that I have never given them the chance. Here I am at 37 and I feel more I like I am in junior high or high school when it comes to making friends! I would love to have friends that have kids around my kids ages, husbands or significant others that will get along with my husband, and someone that I could have a close strong friendship with. Maybe, I just haven't given the aquaintences that I have met enough of a chance or maybe I just haven't found the right people yet. So, I am going to try to be more outgoing. I have become a COPE co-chair for my twins group in hopes that I would become more a part of the group, instead of just being on the sidelines. I am also going to give some of these aquaitences more of a chance to grow before I say that they are not friends. I have to get over the fact that it really has seemed like in the past, when I have gotten together with people, we never seem to get together again. I think maybe I need to make more of an effort in this area (getting together with people again after a playdate). I think I also need to realize that most of the moms that I know have twins (at least and maybe more) and that they are busy too. I also need to stop thinking that I am the total problem and start realizing that people may want to be more friends with me than I think!