Jealousy

One of my twin mom friends wrote a blog post titled "Green Eyed Monster" at http://www.goddessinprogressblog.com/2011/06/the-green-eyed-monster/ and without sounding like I have totally copied her post, her words totally resonated with me!  Even though I was very lucky and was able to get pregnant very easily both times that I tried, neither pregnancy went the way I expected.  My first pregnancy, I ended up on bed rest with pre-eclampsia at 32 weeks.  I was hoping to go totally natural and let my body tell me when it was ready to go into labor.  That plan went away when I was induced at 38 weeks.  I ended up going into labor on my own and didn't require any medication until my contractions slowed and my son somehow got stuck.  needless to say, I ended up with a c-section and then on magnesium sulfate.  Breast feeding was pretty much a no go.  He didn't take to it like I had hoped and wasn't gaining weight, so I ended up attempting to breast feed, supplement with formula, and pumping every 2 hours for a while until his doctor felt like he was gaining weight appropriately.  By then I was pregnant again, he was only 3 months old.  I figured here was my second chance.  Then 2 months later we found out it was twins.  Once again I ended up on bed rest, this time for 3 months.  I was hoping for a VBAC, but again my body didn't cooperate.  My son was breech and he was babyB and the bigger of the 2 (come to find out he was all of 2 oz bigger) and I wasn't able to go for a VBAC ( I also had pre-eclampsia again).  They were 5 weeks early and didn't exactly take to breast feeding.  After having a full term baby that didn't gain weight after breast feeding and knowing that my twins were on high calorie formula when they got formula, I was too worried to breast feed.  Then they ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks and on an even higher calorie formula.  Having 3 babies under 1 with some calorie issues was not conducive to anxiety free breast feeding.

I had my tubes tied after I had my twins.  My husband and I decided that 2 difficult pregnancies was enough.  We had 3 beautiful babies  and didn't need to chance things again.  As much as I know it was the right decision, I still sometimes long for a "normal" pregnancy with no issues after birth.  I long to be able to go into labor on my own.  I long to be able to breast feed my child.  These are things that I will never experience and when I see others having this experience, I feel like I lost out and didn't get what others get to experience.  When I get like this, I often remind myself that I have 3 beautiful children that are healthy and even though my pregnancies and their births as well as the first few months after they were born, I am extremely lucky to have them in my life and we all just have to deal with what nature gives us.  I certainly could have experienced worse issues and could have lost any and all of my babies due to health complications, but some one was watching over me and them and kept  all of us safe!  And for that, I am truly and extremely grateful!

Amy

Pre-eclampsia

May is Preeclampsia Month

I was one of the lucky ones and was able to get pregnant as soon as we started trying.  My pregnancy was going along perfect.  I had the normal morning sickness during the first trimester and pretty much at the start of the second trimester it was over.  Things went along great.  I was gaining weight just like I was supposed to.  All of a sudden, just before 32 weeks, I was at a routine OB appointment and I was put on bed rest because of high blood pressure.  I had no symptoms, but my blood pressure was high and I had gained a little extra weight.  I had to go back to the OB after the weekend and was immediately sent to the hospital for a week and then sent home on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.  I was to lie on my left side and only get up to go to the bathroom.  I was able to hold on until week 38 when I was induced and after laboring and then pushing for 3 hours with little to no results, even though the nurse said I was pushing perfectly.  My blood pressure continued to be a problem and then my son's heart rate started dropping.  My OB decided that I needed a c-section and my son was born almost 11 hours after my water broke.  I continued to have high blood pressure and increased swelling so I was lucky enough to get magnesium sulfate to help with the extra fluid and my blood pressure.  I was supposed to be on it for 24 hours, but I had to be taken off early because I was having too many side effects and wasn't able to get enough oxygen in my system.  The day of my discharge, the covering OB wasn't sure that she wanted to discharge me due to my continuing high blood pressure.  After coming into my room and seeing me sobbing, she decided that I would be better off at home and made me promise to call if I had any symptoms of preeclampsia or if my blood pressure continued to be high even with out any symptoms and I needed to see my OB in the morning.  All went well and I continued on my blood pressure medication with no issues.

3 months after giving birth, I found out I was pregnant again.  We were ecstatic.  We started trying right away,never thinking we would have a baby that quick.  11 weeks into the pregnancy, we found out we were having twins.  OMG, I had a 5 month old and I found out I was going to have twins with my due date being 1 week before my older son turned 1.  I continued on my blood pressure medication and my pregnancy went along great until week 23, when at a routine ultrasound appointment, I found out my cervix was too short.  I was placed on bed rest again and had to figure out how to take care of myself while having a baby who was only 7 1/2 months when I went on bed rest.  I had a couple of scares, but I think most of that was due to me being nervous.  I made it to week 35 when at a routine OB visit, I was told that I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced.  My OB told me that she wouldn't be surprised if I went into labor over the weekend.  I was a little nervous that I wouldn't know what it was like to go into labor on my own, but I figured, my body would tell me what to do.  Unfortunately, while at a routine non-stress test that afternoon, my blood pressure was 188/111 even though I was on blood pressure medication.  Along with that, I had protein in my  urine and my labs were off.  They decided it would be best for me to deliver the babies that night.  I was hoping for a VBAC if Baby B (Thomas) was vertex.  On Wednesday he was vertex, but just to make sure they did an ultrasound.  Only 2 days later, my Thomas, how was always moving had turned breech again and I was off for another c-section.  Thankfully, this time I did not need the magnesium sulfate.  I had 2 little babies who were born 5 weeks early and an older son who was 10 1/2 months.  My twins did great.  They were able to suck, swallow, and breathe, their heart rate stayed stable, and they were able to maintain their body temperature.  Thankfully they were able to come home with me when I was discharged 5 days after giving birth.

I received my preeclampsia foundation news letter today and found out, or should I say confirmed that women who had preeclampsia were more at risk for heart disease up to 15 year after giving birth.  I have always been concerned with my risk for heart disease since my only uncle died or heart disease when he was only 42, just 4 years older than I am now.  I really need to get my act together and start getting in shape.  Not only do I have a family history of heart disease, but now I have the added risk of 2 pregnancies with preeclampsia.

Amy

First Parent Teacher Phone Conference

Today was my first parent teacher conference ever.  Michael's teacher wanted to talk about his progress and where things stood for the rest of the year and the summer.  During the phone conference I found out that as much as I think Michael is progressing, the teacher thinks that he will do better in a classroom with a teacher:kid ratio of 4:5.  I am thrilled that he is going to be getting a lot more attention, which I absolutely think will be a huge benefit to him.  I am concerned though that he is not progressing as fast as I would like.  the new plan is for Michael to transition into the new classroom and maybe even go to preschool for a full day.  I am really excited about his going to school for a longer day, if he can tolerate it, but I am mostly excited about the teacher to student  ratio.I hope that his speech progresses quickly and he can return to a regular classroom, but I would much rather see this happening now instead of delaying it and have him not be ready for kindergarten.

I know that all kids progress at their own rate, but given that all of my kids have somewhat of a speech delay, I can't  help but wonder if I am doing something wrong or not doing something right while I am at home with them.  I think one of the things that I tend to do is focus on their stronger skill set, their gross motor skills.  Since they tend to be so much more active, I tend to let them do more physical play instead of working on either fine motor skills (which they aren't really delayed in, they just have little to no interest in doing), or a lot of technically cognitive skills.  I need to put together a plan so that I can work on their fine motor skills such as holding a crayon and drawing and their cognitive/language skills.  They tend not to like to sit and read books, so even though I try to read to them, I often get frustrated that they don't want to listen and I don't read to them as much as I should.  This is really ironic since I am and have always been an avid reader.  I am so afraid that I am causing my children to have the dealys that they have.  I will just have to look at what I can do from now on and not look at what I haven't done in the past!

Amy

Potty Training Take 2

A while ago, I started to attempt to potty train Michael.  Needless to say it didn't go well at all.  He had no interest and could have cared less if he peed in his pants.  I am trying again, but now with school, I am a little gun shy about sending him in underwear.  School mentioned that when kids start potty training, they will follow what ever protocol is followed at home.  At this point, I think I am just going to have him in underwear when we are at home and if he is out with us, but I don't think I'm ready to make him go with no underwear at school, since I am not convinced that he is really ready.  I think this is more to get him used to sitting on the potty than actually getting him to train.  He'll sit there and we'll sing the ABC song.  This also helps him to learn his ABC's.  I know this approach may be considered confusing to some people, but for now I think the best thing to do is to take it slow and see how he does.  I plan to put together a sticker chart so that he can see his progress and after so many stickers he can get a prize.  I have been reluctant to use prizes, but I am caving and am going to at least attempt it to see if it helps him.  Michael is now 3 years and 2 1/2 months.  If he's not ready, I don't want to push him, but I do want to give him the opportunity to learn to go on the potty vs just in his diaper.  If anyone has any suggestions on potty training, please comment.  Even if you think that this is a bad way to potty train, please let me know and let me know why so that I can figure out if I should just hold off til he is completely ready.

Michael will continue to go to school through the summer a couple of days a week, so waiting til summer is not going to help.  Also, the weather this week is really really crappy and the chances of us leaving the house for long periods of time are slim to none.  I figure if we are going to be house bound mostly anyway, why not take advantage and to potty training.  Michael's expressive language is getting better.  I am hoping that with his increased ability to express himself, he will be more likely to tell me if he has to pee and maybe just maybe this will help him feel a little more independent.

Amy

Makes My Monday: Counting

It's not quite Monday yet, but this truly makes my Monday and every other day!  Michael is just barely putting words together, but he can actually count to 11.  He's been doing it for a while now, but I was finally able to get it taped.  I am so happy with his progress and can totally see how much of a benefit pre-school has been.

Happy Monday!

Amy

Way Back When-esday: March 2009

I was just reading http://mollyandluke.blogspot.com and it reminded me of when I took my twins home from the NICU after their bought with RSV.  Thomas had been admitted 1 week before Eva Rose and was supposed to come home on Friday after he had been in the hospital almost 3 weeks.  Thursday night we got a phone call that Thomas had a minor set back with some tachycardia so he wasn't able to come home the next day.  He stayed over the weekend and ended up coming home with his sister on Monday in a snow storm, just like when we left the hospital after they were born.  I thought it was pretty amazing that not only did they they ended up coming home together, but pretty much on their due date.  We had to have a visiting nurse to check their weights and their breathing.  They did awesome and the visiting nurse was able to discharge us after just a couple of weeks!

March 3, 2009

March 3, 2009

Amy

Happy Easter!

Our Newest Family Picture!  I was actually able to make the boys tie and Eva Rose's dress to coordinate!

  I actually had a lot of fun sewing this and can't wait to sew more!

Happy Easter Everyone!

Amy