Michael

This is Michael's last year in pre-school.  In September, he will move on to a new teacher, a new school, and a new "regular class (I believe).  Now this transition is hard for most parents of
"neuro-typical" children, but Michael has autism.  He doesn't always deal well with change (tough that is improving a little), he doesn't socialize with others very much (or at least he doesn't without someone guiding and modeling what to do), he has repetitive behaviors and can sometimes go into his own world when it comes to imaginary play.  His speech has come so far, yet his volleying back and forth with communication still needs a lot of work.  He doesn't answer questions reliably or at all sometimes. He will ask for things, which he was delayed doing.  He is also not potty trained with poop.  I am not sure what his IEP will look like.  I don't know if he will have someone in the class giving him extra attention so that his socialization skills continue to improve.  We are having a transition meeting in the next couple of weeks, so I'm sure that this will help with some of my anxiety, but I won't feel better until I actually see how he does in school.  Right now, he is in a class of 7 or 8 students and has 3 teachers in the room.  He does go to a regular pre-school class 3 times a week for lunch and circle time. This has been going well, but it is a more structured time, so I don't know how he would do in a less structured situation.

The one good area that I have been really happy with is his sleep.  We have been doing Melatonin for the last 2 1/2 months and have had to up the dose from 1 MG to 2 MG.  It still takes a good 45 minutes to kick in, but it does kick in.  He has been sleeping through the night and has been getting up a a reasonable time.  No more waking his up for school.  No more sleeping til 10:00 if we let him.  He is now asleep by 8:30 and is usually awake by 7:30 at the latest.  This morning he was actually up at 6:00.  I am hopeful that his improved sleep pattern, like all of us, is helping his overall.  He used to fall asleep closer to 10 or even 11 and then not want to wake up the next morning til 9 or 10.  We tried to do a sensory diet which helped somewhat, but it really didn't make a huge difference.  I am hoping that once spring is here and we are outside more, things will be even better.

Michael finally has something that he loves.  He had been really focused on Caillou to the point of reciting lines and acting out episodes sometimes at inappropriate times and often repetitive ways such as bedtime routine.  He now loves Wall-e and Mickey Mouse.  He doesn't seem to act out these shows as much, though he can recite the lines to them as he watches them.  In wall-e, the is a part from Hello Dolly and we watched it a couple of weeks ago.  He wasn't interested in it until that scene came on and he ran into the  room and sang with the song.We probably watch too much TV in this house and I am working on changing that.  He does love music and the Polar Express sound track right now is his favorite!

One thing that is bothering me right now is a family member who is trying to pressure us into signing him up for kindergarten soccer.  he has shown little interest in  soccer or anything like that.  He tends to enjoy digging in the dirt, running around, riding his bike, climbing,  and swimming.  Personally, I would rather see him in swimming lessons where he would thrive not in an organized team sport where he doesn't like to play with other kids.  The problem I have is that this person keeps pushing and pushing and pushing.  I just want to say "STOP TELLING ME WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR MY CHILD".  Yes that was meant to be yelling.  She always tells people what they need to do, not suggest an option that is available.  She then goes on to push her agenda.  With regards to soccer, she was a soccer coach for her kids and they still play soccer in high school and college.  I totally feel like this is her agenda and not mine.  Yesterday, we took Michael to spend $20 of his birthday money at the book store.  I posted it on Facebook (and maybe that's my problem, I open myself up for criticism by putting it out there), and she responded that I should be putting his money away for college.  He will have some go in his bank account, but I think it is important to let him spend some money on a gift.  Again, it is my child, and my decision.  No one else's, except my husband.  Again, I just want to yell, "stop telling me what to do!"

Thanks for listening to my rant!  I am so happy that I have some where to get out things both good and bad instead of only unloading on my husband!

Amy

Rant!

I jsut need a place to rant about people giving unsolicited advice.  No matter how well intentioned, sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut!  Case in point, early intervention.  Michael will be 2 1/2 Sept 8th and really has no functional communication.  As an aside, my husband and my little sister both talked on the later side of the developmental spectrum and there is nothing wrong now that they are grown.  After much deliberation, my husband and I decided to make a referral to EI for all 3 kids since the twins are really not talking either.  Today was the initial gathering of information and then we still have 2 more days of evals before we know who will be eligible if any.  Tomorrow is Michael's eval and I'm guessing that he will probably be approved.  The thing is, the way some people talk, Michael should be so much farther ahead than he is and we should have made a referral a long time ago (which is exactly why I am having the twins evaluated).  When we did the developmental things today, the evaluator said that she wasn't sure that the twins would qualify, but michael maybe will, she's not sure.  Granted, they all still need to have their individual evaluations, and we won't truly know if they qualify until then.  Also, given the state of the economy in the state with all the cutbacks in services, it is going to be much harder for anyone to qualify for services.  The thing is, people are so willing to point out when kids are not meeting milestones at the "normal" rate and they make you feel like there is something wrong with your child, when in fact, it just may mean that your child is developing at his or her own rate.  My husband has been really good at reminding me that not all kids do things in the same time frame as all the other kids. 

The thing is, there may be things that we can do better as parents of 3 kids so close in age.  I don't want to equate myself with a mother of triplets, but it is so hard to have 3 kids this close in age.  Sometimes I feel like I am not giving them the attention that they would be getting if they were farther apart in age and singletons.  With Michael, he was only 10 1/2 months when the twins were born.  Then there is the fact that I was on bed rest for 3 months of my pregnancy.  Then the twins were in the hospital (NICU) after being home for 2-3 weeks and then Michael turned 1 right after they came home.  Then I had to ensure that 3 babies were taken care of.  Don't get me wrong, I actually truly love having them so close in age, I just hoep that their development is not suffering because of it.

So to all those "well meaning" people, please keep those comments to yourself.  You don't know everything.  You don't need to scare parents.  Kids do not always develop at exactly the same time, including siblings.  If you don't truly know what qulaifies as a delay, keep your mouth shut.  Those "well meaning" comments can cause parents worry about their child's development and if it is normal and cause them to question themselves and that just isn't a fair place to put anyone.  I do hope that the kids qualify because I think that they can benefit, but because of certain things that were said to me (even though I was smart enough not to take the comments at face value and I researched on my own) I have questioned my own parenting and my own belief system when it comes to my children.  I am slowly learning to listten to me and my beliefs and not let others influence me without first assessing the whole situation and making sure that I get the facts straight.

One of these days, I hope that I can trust myself enough to know that I know what's best for my child and not let others influence me.  Sory about the rant, but i am just frustrated with unsolicited advice!

Thanks for listening,
Amy