Pre-School Parent/Teacher Conference

We had Michael's first parent/teacher conference about 2 weeks ago and for the most part it was all good.  Behavior wise, Michael is doing excellent.  Given his fairly severe speech delay, his frustration level is at a pretty good level, but speaking of his speech, he is definitely delayed and I don't know why.  I think the only thing that bothered me about the conference is that when we asked the teacher about about fears of autism, the only thing she could say was that she didn't feel that he was on the spectrum given his ability to be comfortable sitting in her lap and being affectionate.  That was a good sign, but the fact that teachers are not allowed to give their opinion about testing because it may cause issues with parents really frustrates me.  I mean, these are professionals, who in our case, spend 5 hours a day 5 days a week with my son.  I am not frustrated with the teacher, but the system.  Michael's teacher is wonderful.  She is sweet and kind and motherly and I feel very comfortable with her as his teacher.  I just wish I could get a sense if we need to do more.

I have a feeling that going gluten and dairy free is a really good step.  I hate that we have to do this and we were really bad over the holiday, but we are now back on track and no gluten or dairy for Michael (so to be me too).  I really do think that it makes a difference!  It sucks, but I do think it helps!  The other issue that got brought up at the conference (by his teacher), is wether or not to get Michael tested for diabetes.  I am hoping that this isn't an issue.  Michael seems to drink a ton and then pees a ton to the point of having multiple accidents.  It kinds of makes sense that if he drinks a lot then he will pee a lot, but it is the drinking of fluids that makes me wonder, though I have to say, sometimes limit setting helps and his accidents are getting better.  He has even slept with underwear on for the last 2 nights and the first night woke twice to pee, and then last night didn't soak himself.  Maybe going gluten free and dairy free will really help with just more than digestive issues!

The twins are being evaluated for further needs in the school system.  They are going to be 3 in just under 2 months.  I can't believe that I have an almost 4 year old and almost 3 year old twins.  Eva Rose has been in early intervention since the beginning of the fall for a speech delay and has improved immensely (which is another reason I am increasingly concerned with Michael's delay).  She went from barely putting 2 words together and dropping the endings of words  to the point of not understanding what she is saying, to still dropping the endings of words but putting more than 2 words together.  There are still often times that I don't understand her and at 3 I probably should understand almost everything that is said. Thomas just amazes me with his vocabulary! That being said, when I look at friends kids I can't help but compare and still think my kids are behind, but maybe not. Then there are those people in your life who try to tell you that your kids are very behind and that they should be doing certain things, but in reality maybe those people are over estimating kids development.

It will be interesting to see how the kids further develop. Will Michael all of a sudden come out and just start talking? Is there more to his delay? Do Thomas and Eva Rose need more help with their expressive and receptive communication? Only time will tell and will see how things go!

Amy

Delays!

Michael has some pretty significant speech delays!  He is doing much better now that he has an IEP and is in school for 5 hours Monday thru Friday, but he is still behind.  A while ago, Like more than a year ago, my husband mentioned Autism.  We have gone through the back and forth of wether or not this is an issue.  I have asked his EI person, I have asked his teachers at school, and our family practitioner has never mentioned anything.  No one seems to be concerned about autism.  Everyone seems to think that this is just a speech delay and that in time it will resolve itself.

I have this sinking feeling that there is more than just a speech delay.  I am hoping I am wrong, but something just makes me think that there is more to it.  The problem, is that I don't trust myself and my gut. There is a good chance that I am just over reacting and thinking that there is something wrong, when he is just behind the developmental curve and will catch up.  I tend to compare my kids to my friends' kids who may actually be ahead of the developmental curve so that puts a spin on things too!

I don't think that it is autism.  I have taken my DSM IV, and looked at the autism spectrum disorders and while Michael may fit some criteria, he wouldn't, at least in my opinion, even fit PDD.  We are going to Michael's first school conference tomorrow and I will be asking and probably pushing the teacher to tell me if there is more than just a speech delay and if we should look at getting any sort of testing.

The other piece to the puzzle is that we have had a blood test for Michael and it showed that he has a significant sensitivity to gluten and dairy (as did my test).  The problem is, that this blood test has a lot of people that don't believe it's a valid or accurate test.  We have been trying to remove these foods from Michael's diet, but it is so hard!  Michael is my son when it comes to food.  When we removed dairy back in January, we saw a dramatic difference.  I didn't see that difference with the gluten so I wasn't as strict.  I was talking to my husband's cousin who mentioned that it could take a while before we see a difference with the gluten, and I remembered reading something about that.  After that conversation, I decided that I really needed to be more strict and I have removed anything that he could see that he would want and I would be tempted to give him.  I am trying to make sure that we have options in the house for him so that he can have bread and cookies and milk.  I need to get better at baking gluten free.  I also want to watch how much sugar he has.  It's amazing how I can do this for him, but I can't seem to do this for myself.  Michael is on his 3rd day of being gluten free.  Yesterday, he came home and hadn't had an accident at school.  This was the first time in a long time that he had been accident free.  I think the other thing that made going gluten free hard was seeing him regress with potty training about the same time as we stopped the gluten.  It probably had nothing to do with the gluten, but it was making me wonder if gluten was an issue or not.  Maybe the potty training regression had nothing to do with gluten, maybe I just needed to be more consistent and stop feeling bad about not giving him gluten.  I am totally on board with keeping him gluten free and hoping that this will help with a lot of his issues.  The dietician we met with mentioned that getting rid of gluten would make a major change with his neurological symptoms (we had mentioned the autism fear that we had).

As I write this, I feel that I should make a strong point to say that Michael has made significant gains over the past year.  This time last year, he had about 10 words in his vocabulary and that may be stretching it.  He now will say 3-4 word sentences, but he will be 4 in just 3 1/2 months and still can't even have a simple conversation.  I think I will feel better after our conference tomorrow and then we can hopefully move forward and either get some testing, or I can feel better knowing that it is more likely just a time thing!

Amy

Early Intervention Update

Today we had the twins evaluated for EI and like I expected, they qualified for due to a speech delay.  Now all 3 kids are accepted into EI for speech.  I am actually glad that all 3 are involved as I think it will make life easier overall.  We are trying to get them into a group, which I think is beneficial for all of them.  Personally, I think all 3 kids could use some interaction with other people than just me and my husband.  I think they need to be around kids their own age other than each other.  I am hoping that with the fall coming and the weather getting cooler, we'll be back at the park more often.  I plan to look more into other groups, hopefully that are free or really low cost.  I'm really looking forward to getting out IFSP (plan) in place so that we can start working with the kids.  They have already given us a bunch of good suggestions that we have actually started to incorporate into the schedule.  The best part about EI is I am supposed to incorporate thigns into our daily lives not try to find a special time to set aside to work with them. Since I  have 3 under 3,  this makes so much sense.  The thought of trying to remember to set aside time to work specifically on speech is kind of terrifying.  On the other hand, the thought of incorporating it into our daily lives is so freeing.  I am looking forward to getting things started and moving forward with their speech!

Amy

Early Intervention

So, Michael had his early intervention eval today and it was great.  He did get picked up for services for his lack of receptive and expressive communication, but I was so impressed with the things that he was able to do.  I loved watching the assessment.  I loved watching him interact with other adults than just family and friends that have always been around.  He did have a little melt down at one point, but thankfully regained control fairly quickly.  He right at where he should be developmentally with regards to his gross and fine motor skills.  There are things that we can work on with him to help him improve a little bit, but he doesn't need any intervention with regards to these areas.  Of course, now that he has been evaluated, he is certainly doing a bit more imitating, but he is still not where he should be.  The EI evaluators also said that his level of development with fine and gross motor should actually help him with his language development.  They also pointed out that movement seems to make him more likely to use language.  I will certainly be trying to use that bit of knowledge to my advantage.

Next week, the twins have their evaluations. I don't know if they will be eligible for services, but I am really looking forward to watching their actual evaluations.  Part of me hopes that they do qualify, just so that they can get a little extra help.  Again, I think for them, it is a matter of language development vs physical, but it will be interesting to see how they perform on the gross and fine motor skills.  Today, we had 2 evaluators and next week, we will have 4 since they will be evaluating 2 kids.  Luckily today, the twins went in for a nap during most of the evaluation so both my husband and I got to observe.  Next week, I think I want to have someone watch Michael while we have the evals for the twins so that he can have fun and we can pay attention to the evaluation process.

I am really happy that we made the referral.  I have a few ideas of things that I want to get for new toys for all 3 kids.  I also want to kind of schedule the day a little bit more so that there is a little time for direct learning through play instead of just winging it.  I want to get back to the park and this time I want to try to help Michael do some more socialization with other children his age.  Any suggestions for toys, activities, or playgroups for 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old kids are totally helpful?  Also, I am interesting in arts and crafts for the 3 kids.  Any suggestions on supplies or even a class that we can take (probably a 1 time only depending on the cost)?  Any good websites for learning for this age as well?

Thanks,
Amy

Rant!

I jsut need a place to rant about people giving unsolicited advice.  No matter how well intentioned, sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut!  Case in point, early intervention.  Michael will be 2 1/2 Sept 8th and really has no functional communication.  As an aside, my husband and my little sister both talked on the later side of the developmental spectrum and there is nothing wrong now that they are grown.  After much deliberation, my husband and I decided to make a referral to EI for all 3 kids since the twins are really not talking either.  Today was the initial gathering of information and then we still have 2 more days of evals before we know who will be eligible if any.  Tomorrow is Michael's eval and I'm guessing that he will probably be approved.  The thing is, the way some people talk, Michael should be so much farther ahead than he is and we should have made a referral a long time ago (which is exactly why I am having the twins evaluated).  When we did the developmental things today, the evaluator said that she wasn't sure that the twins would qualify, but michael maybe will, she's not sure.  Granted, they all still need to have their individual evaluations, and we won't truly know if they qualify until then.  Also, given the state of the economy in the state with all the cutbacks in services, it is going to be much harder for anyone to qualify for services.  The thing is, people are so willing to point out when kids are not meeting milestones at the "normal" rate and they make you feel like there is something wrong with your child, when in fact, it just may mean that your child is developing at his or her own rate.  My husband has been really good at reminding me that not all kids do things in the same time frame as all the other kids. 

The thing is, there may be things that we can do better as parents of 3 kids so close in age.  I don't want to equate myself with a mother of triplets, but it is so hard to have 3 kids this close in age.  Sometimes I feel like I am not giving them the attention that they would be getting if they were farther apart in age and singletons.  With Michael, he was only 10 1/2 months when the twins were born.  Then there is the fact that I was on bed rest for 3 months of my pregnancy.  Then the twins were in the hospital (NICU) after being home for 2-3 weeks and then Michael turned 1 right after they came home.  Then I had to ensure that 3 babies were taken care of.  Don't get me wrong, I actually truly love having them so close in age, I just hoep that their development is not suffering because of it.

So to all those "well meaning" people, please keep those comments to yourself.  You don't know everything.  You don't need to scare parents.  Kids do not always develop at exactly the same time, including siblings.  If you don't truly know what qulaifies as a delay, keep your mouth shut.  Those "well meaning" comments can cause parents worry about their child's development and if it is normal and cause them to question themselves and that just isn't a fair place to put anyone.  I do hope that the kids qualify because I think that they can benefit, but because of certain things that were said to me (even though I was smart enough not to take the comments at face value and I researched on my own) I have questioned my own parenting and my own belief system when it comes to my children.  I am slowly learning to listten to me and my beliefs and not let others influence me without first assessing the whole situation and making sure that I get the facts straight.

One of these days, I hope that I can trust myself enough to know that I know what's best for my child and not let others influence me.  Sory about the rant, but i am just frustrated with unsolicited advice!

Thanks for listening,
Amy

Early Intervention

We have been trying to figure out when and if an early intervention referral needs to be made for any of the kids.  At this point the only issue that we are concerned about is speech.  None of the kids seem to speak at an early age and since my husband and my little sister started speaking at closer to 2 1/2 and 3, we weren't that concerned.  Now that Michael is nearing the 2 1/2 age and is speaking more, but only still saying 1 word at a time, we decided that it would be important to have him evaluated and at the same time have the twins evaluated since they really aren't talking either.  I know a ton of people in my twins group have had EI for quite some time and for all sorts of developmental delays and they have, for the most, part been really satisfied with the service and felt that their kids really benefitted.  Today, I made the referral to our local EI office and will here back from them in 7-10 day regarding an evaluation.

At this point I think things are fine with all 3 kids, just a slight delay in their speech.  I have to admit though, I am a little worried that they will find out that there is something more to be concerned with.  If there is, I know that it is better to know now and get the assistance that is needed, but it is a little scary to think that maybe there is more to the delay than just late speech.  I am also feeling a little guilty since another twin mom pointed out that kids are finished with EI at 3.  That  means that Michael will be in it for all of 6 months if he is found eligible.  I'm sure that there is follow up after EI, I just don't know what.

There are all sorts of questions that I have regarding EI.  I am hoping that my twins group will be a great resource for all of my questions.  I definitely tend to think about the worst possible outcome, I just try not to obsess about it!  I'm sure that I will find support in my twins group for this, as they have been really helpful in the past for me and for others with questions regarding many topics.

Right now, we are just waiting to schedule an evaluation for all 3 kids.  I am going to just wait for that and not think about the worst outcome of the eval.  I will just wait and see where it brings us!

Amy