Insecurities

I have never been the most confident person, but since having kids and trying to make new friend, my self-confidence has really taken a dive. I'm not even sure I want to write about this here, but I'm not sure anyone reads my blog often enough to make a difference, which may be a good thing.  I can write a little about how I am feeling and get it out without worrying that anyone is judging.

I have done a couple of play dates, but they never seem to last more than one time.  I am hoping that I am not doing anything to offend people.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why I can't seem to maintain friendships with other people who have kids.  I know that it is difficult, but it really makes me wonder if there is anything that I need to either change about me or my kids or maybe how I react to my kids.  The thing that kills me is when things like yesterday happen.  I had a friend  from high school over and we were talking about friendships and how much more difficult it is once you have kids.  This friend, who I had kind of lost touch with over the years, was very complimentary about my friendship with her.  So does that mean it's not me, it's just that I don't have things in common with the people I have met so far?  Am I not friendly enough?  Maybe it will happen just later, not right now.  But I have to say, my self confidence has totally taken a dive and the insecurities that I thought I had moved beyond are starting to surface and really make me question myself!

Oh well!  I guess I just have to continue to try to be friendly and hope that I can meet people that want to be friends with me and my kids.  Maybe I just need to find people I have more in common with!

Amy

Makes My Monday: New Pictures!

I'm playing along with Cheryl at twinfactuation.blogspot.com for Makes my Monday.  These are some of the latest pictures.  I haven't been really good at taking pictures lately!

Everyone wanted yogurt

My climbers

 Eva Rose and Thomas sharing a swing at the park

Enjoying the park on the swings!

My latest craft project

As an update to my last post, I am certainly changing my way of thinking when it comes to blogging.  My blogs are for me and if I get followers or comments, great, if not, oh well.  My blogs are my stories and I will enjoy writing them and reading them.  I do still have some insecurities about people wanting to be friends with me, but I'll get over it and I'm sure as the kids grow and I meet people, I'll meet people who want to be friends and it will all be good.  

Amy

Making Friends

Why is it that making friends is so much harder when you get older?  Or is it just me?  I still have a few friends from high school and college, but different life changes in each of our lives has made it more difficult to remain close.  I have never been one to have many friends.  I was always more likely to have a couple of really good close friends, that I could confide everything in.  As I got older and our lives started to change, some of these friendships grew apart.  Some of these friendships really needed to grow apart and some I really wish hadn't.  Now that I have 3 kids, I am finding it even harder to make friends vs aquaintences.  I have a number of aquaintences, but no real close new friends.  I had hoped that being a part of the twins group, would make this task much easier, but it really hasn't.  I think a big part of it is me.  I tend to be on the quiet side, even thought there are some people in my life who would disagree.  I tend to feel so awkward around new people and hope that they will invite me in to their circle with out me having to do much work (not that I don't want to, it just the fear that I will still be rejected even after I have made a huge effort).  Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I haven't put enough effort into making friends.  Maybe I'm assuming that people don't want to be friends with me, when the truth is that I have never given them the chance.  Here I am at 37 and I feel more I like I am in junior high or high school when it comes to making friends!  I would love to have friends that have kids around my kids ages, husbands or significant others that will get along with my husband, and someone that I could have a close strong friendship with.  Maybe, I just haven't given the aquaintences that I have met enough of a chance or maybe I just haven't found the right people yet.  So, I am going to try to be more outgoing.  I have become a COPE co-chair for my twins group in hopes that I would become more a part of the group, instead of just being on the sidelines.  I am also going to give some of these aquaitences more of a chance to grow before I say that they are not friends.  I have to get over the fact that it really has seemed like in the past, when I have gotten together with people, we never seem to get together again.  I think maybe I need to make more of an effort in this area (getting together with people again after a playdate).  I think I also need to realize that most of the moms that I know have twins (at least and maybe more) and that they are busy too.  I also need to stop thinking that I am the total problem and start realizing that people may want to be more friends with me than I think!