Frustrations!

The other day was one of my more frustrating day's as a parent.  I'm not sure what was going on with me, maybe just normal parenting issues, but no matter what happened, I just felt like I had no petience.  We have had my brother in law living with us for the last 3 months and it has not been easy.  In fact it is definitely one of the biggest stressors right now.  The other big stressor is potty training and trying to get my health back. 

Potty training is probably the absolute worst developmemtal stage that I have gone through so far.  I'm sure there will be worse, but in 3 1/2 years, this is the worst.  The kids are definitely into going on the potty, but they are not quite ready to go without us telling them to go on the potty every so often, like every 1/2 hour or so.  Sometimes, we have great days and there are absolutely no accidents the whole day.  Sometimes, it seems like all we do is clean up pee and poop.  I is finally seeming like Michael is getting it.  He will go into the bathroom and either sit on a potty or pee in the toilet.  He has even pooped twice on the potty after bringing himself to the bathroom with no prompts from us as parents.  His biggest issue is that he loves to pee in any container he can find.  This is one thing I am working really hard to try to break.  I love his aim, but he needs to learn that there are places to pee and places not to pee.  The twins are good about going when we bring them, but no so good about telling they have to go.  Though, I have to say, Eva Rose woke up twice last night and after going on the potty went right back to sleep.  I think we will just keep on moving forward and hope that they will get it soon.

Lastly, not only are we dealing with the terrible two's times two, but a three year old also.  The behaviors and the whining are absolutely driving me mad.  I can handle crying, but whining is not something I handle well.  I am also not digging the defiant behavior of Thomas.  My sweet little boy has all of a sudden started saying no when I ask him to do something.  I guess he is just asserting his independence and I just have to remember my favorite developmental theorist, Erik Erikson states that people have different conflicts in life that they need to resolve in order to move on to the next stage of development.  My kids are in the autonomy vs doubt stage, at least the twins are.  They need to figure out how to have a sense that they are able to have some control over their environment.  I guess, I need to figure out how to maintain some independence without giving them free reign.  Michael, on the other hand, should be moving into initiative vs guilt.  This almost seems like a continuation of more advanced independence and that is exactly where Michael seems to be.  As I re-read some of the negatives, I think this may be what we are seeing with Michael's frustrations. He is learning to master different tasks and be much more independent and when he is unable to achieve a goal, he becomes frustrated.

Wow, writing this post has really made me feel better about things!  I really like Erik Erikson's theories.  I know that there are some people that criticise them, but I have always liked his theories.  I actually used them in my theoretical perspectives paper in grad school.  It's good to start looking at things again.  I may need to start looking at more child development to help me feel better about my parenting skills and to help me remember that what my kids are doing is probably just normal developmental tasks that they need to achieve. 

Amy 

Insecurities

I have never been the most confident person, but since having kids and trying to make new friend, my self-confidence has really taken a dive. I'm not even sure I want to write about this here, but I'm not sure anyone reads my blog often enough to make a difference, which may be a good thing.  I can write a little about how I am feeling and get it out without worrying that anyone is judging.

I have done a couple of play dates, but they never seem to last more than one time.  I am hoping that I am not doing anything to offend people.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why I can't seem to maintain friendships with other people who have kids.  I know that it is difficult, but it really makes me wonder if there is anything that I need to either change about me or my kids or maybe how I react to my kids.  The thing that kills me is when things like yesterday happen.  I had a friend  from high school over and we were talking about friendships and how much more difficult it is once you have kids.  This friend, who I had kind of lost touch with over the years, was very complimentary about my friendship with her.  So does that mean it's not me, it's just that I don't have things in common with the people I have met so far?  Am I not friendly enough?  Maybe it will happen just later, not right now.  But I have to say, my self confidence has totally taken a dive and the insecurities that I thought I had moved beyond are starting to surface and really make me question myself!

Oh well!  I guess I just have to continue to try to be friendly and hope that I can meet people that want to be friends with me and my kids.  Maybe I just need to find people I have more in common with!

Amy

A Little Insecure?

I didn't start this blog to get followers or have the most comments written, but still, I'm wondering if it is even worth writing this anymore.  I have all of 31 followers and I get 1 maybe 2 comments, and on a good day, I may get 4.  I know that I don't probably spend enough time out commenting on others blogs, but I try to do what I can.  Maybe there is a different or better way to meet people through blogging?  

The main reason I started this blog was to document the craziness of everyday life with 3 kids so close in age.  I guess on some level, I wish that I had more followers and more people to comment on the things I write.  Maybe, it's because I don't write things that are interesting enough, maybe it's because I'm not interacting with other bloggers enough,  maybe it's just because...... who knows and I probably shouldn't care but I do.

I guess I just need to get over it and realize that this blog and any other blog that I write is just for me.  Again, I never intended to have crazy followers, but it always feels good to have people follow you and comment on things you write.

As I write this, I am wondering if I should even actually post this, but one other thing that I wanted from this blog was a place to be honest about my feelings.  So here it is, do I need to just change my way of looking at why I blog and focus it more for me, or do I change how I write and what I do with other bloggers and hope that I get more followers and commenters?  A little bit of both?

Amy