I have never been the most confident person, but since having kids and trying to make new friend, my self-confidence has really taken a dive. I'm not even sure I want to write about this here, but I'm not sure anyone reads my blog often enough to make a difference, which may be a good thing. I can write a little about how I am feeling and get it out without worrying that anyone is judging.
I have done a couple of play dates, but they never seem to last more than one time. I am hoping that I am not doing anything to offend people. For the life of me, I can't figure out why I can't seem to maintain friendships with other people who have kids. I know that it is difficult, but it really makes me wonder if there is anything that I need to either change about me or my kids or maybe how I react to my kids. The thing that kills me is when things like yesterday happen. I had a friend from high school over and we were talking about friendships and how much more difficult it is once you have kids. This friend, who I had kind of lost touch with over the years, was very complimentary about my friendship with her. So does that mean it's not me, it's just that I don't have things in common with the people I have met so far? Am I not friendly enough? Maybe it will happen just later, not right now. But I have to say, my self confidence has totally taken a dive and the insecurities that I thought I had moved beyond are starting to surface and really make me question myself!
Oh well! I guess I just have to continue to try to be friendly and hope that I can meet people that want to be friends with me and my kids. Maybe I just need to find people I have more in common with!
Amy
Damn. I wrote an entire long thing that I think got lost....probably better for you ;) I'm sure I'll end up with a book anyway. Sorry!!
ReplyDeleteI totally could have written this a few years ago (okay, probably less than that...)
Here's what I've learned. It's not you. It's not your kids. It's the AGE of your kids. Seriously. There are outgoing people out there who have play dates all the time (that's so not me!!), and then there are those who have a play date and then life gets in the way (that's more me...).
Here's the thing...when your kids get into school, it all changes! And not preschool...I've just noticed it happening since the twins hit Kindergarten. I'm starting to have mommy friends!! People who have similar interests as I do (but aren't necessarily twin mommies). I guess we've all realized that our kids will be together for the next 13 years, so we might as well look around at the other moms and see who we're stuck with and find the ones we actually like.
Oh ... and it means you have a bit more time on your hands too...for things like MOMMY play dates!! :) Hold on - good friends are coming.
I agree with the previous commenter...it's so hard at this age to maintain anything (just ask my waistline)!!!! It will get better...or that's what I tell myself every day. It's just hard right now. It's not you!
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